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COLLECTION of MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES

Do you believe that Freemasonry should be fun? If so then this is the right place for you!

 | Jokes: 1996-2001  | Jokes: 2002-2007  | Jokes: 2008-2012  | The Structure of the Lodge

All the Jokes are posted by Brethren.
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The Structure of the Lodge

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The Right Worshipful Master
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound, Is more powerful than an Intercity Express 
Is faster than a speeding bullet, Walks on water. 
Gives policy to God 

The Worshipful Senior Warden 
Leaps short buildings with a single bound, Is more powerful than a goods train. 
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet Walks on the water if the sea is calm.
Talks with God 

The Worshipful Junior Warden
Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favourable wind. 
Is almost as powerful as a goods train
Is faster than a speeding airgun pellet. 
Walks on water of a swimming pool. 
Talks with God if special dispensation is given. 

The Senior Deacon 
Barely clears a garden hut 
Loses a tug-of-war with a train 
Can fire a speeding bullet 
Swims well. Is occasionally addressed by God 

The Junior Deacon
Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings. 
Is run over by trains
Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury Doggie paddles, 
Talks with the animals 

The Inner Guard
Runs into buildings Recognizes trains two out of three times. 
Is not issued ammunition Can stay afloat with a life vest. 
Talks to walls 

The Steward
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings 
Says "Look at the choo choo's" Wets himself with a water pistol. 
Plays in mud puddles, 
Mumbles to himself 

The Secretary 
Lifts buildings and walks under them Kicks trains off the tracks
Catches speeding bullets in his mouth and eats them 
Freezes water with a single glance.
He is God !


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